7 Important Questions To Ask Someone You Are Dating
Everyone knows that the more there is communication within a relationship - any relationship - the healthier it is. However it is important to note that while witty banter and sweet nothings between lovers does constitute communication, this is not what we're going to be talking about, especially when you are dating and are hoping to progress your relationship to the next level.
Everybody believes in using an interview to get information out of a person. No matter how careful they can be, they would eventually slip, right? Exactly! This is the same approach, though, with a little twist, that should be adopted to anyone planning or already in a relationship. The truth is, there would be feelings and excitement that is called love. But, love isn’t the only thing that will sustain a relationship. In fact, love is just a fragment of the whole relationship. So, it is important to get to know your partner beyond the feelings by asking some intimate questions.
For every “Dating: Getting to know you question” you might ask, the result could draw both of you closer and definitely allow room for more reasons to love. If you already have questions before now, these seven should be prioritized on that list because they work like magic in moving a relationship from ordinary to amazing. In no particular order, these are your top seven.
1. Can you tell me about your family?
This is a very crucial question you should never joke with if you really want to know and love this person more. To avoid some surprises as you proceed in your relationship, it is important to know more about your partner’s family. You will get a lot from the answer to this question because you will be able to gauge what your future could be.
From the way your partner responds to this question, you can see how safe the path you are treading is. If the response is very quick and short, your response to that should not be to retreat, rather, you could stylishly probe further. But if your partner doesn’t need much push to talk, you are sure of two things. One, that they aren’t holding anything back and that is a good sign for you. The second thing you will be sure of is that they are already welcoming you to a wider part of their life which is a long-term journey.
2. What do you want from this relationship?
This question has a way of setting a lot of things right in a relationship. Your idea of where the relationship should be, could be worlds apart from your partner’s. Your partner (or you!) might just want someone to be exclusive about, to help keep him or her out of the “available zone”. Or, for a more focused reason of settlement but in the furthest future. On the other hand, you might have already marked your wedding date on your calendar even though you are still on the dating level. Both perspectives are possible and that is why this is a much-needed question. Although the answer could be devastating, it is definitely much better knowing and planning accordingly. If your partner has the intention to take the relationship to a different level, the answer will unmistakable.
Most times, the guys are the ones that need to respond to this question because they sometimes forget where the relationship is. So, this is one major relation questions to ask a guy specifically if your relationship has got to move to the next level.
3. What do you picture in your future?
The first approach to this question is not to underestimate the power of it. This question can move your relationship from down here to up there or vice versa, which we’re guessing is not the plan. If your partner can successfully reel out the future without including you specifically, then it only suggests one thing, which is, there was never a future for you both. Likewise, It could also result in a response that does include you but might not be in line with your own picture of the future. This question is a good spot to ask more questions of your future together. If there would be many kids or no kids, you will know through this.
Also, your career and your partner’s is a major topic that will follow when this question pops up. And when it does come up, be careful not to intentionally sweep it under the carpet. You need to discuss it and see that your joint career aspirations doesn’t affect every other thing that your relationship will be built upon.
4. What was your childhood like?
This question could be the first question some people might decide to ask because it answers a lot more questions. No matter the case, it is a very important question that should not be left out. Why is that? It has a way of making your partner relaxed and excited at the same time. For some, there would be lots of good memories and for others, it would be the other way round. By asking this question, you stand to learn a lot about your partner’s childhood experience like memorable birthdays, first crush, good and bad things they engaged in, their school life and so on. This question will surely spring out more inquiries which keeps the conversation going and strengthens the bond.
This is a question that can be asked in a number of ways and not just literally as posted above! For instance: you relating a funny incident from school could be a prompt for your partner’s response… Be smart and understand that this is indeed an answer to the above question.
5. What would you term as your greatest fear?
This is a major breakthrough question for both the gentlemen and the ladies. This is because an understanding of what scares your partner will help both of you have a safe landing as to how to have each other’s backs. This question could even be more specific as to what your partner regards as the biggest fear in a relationship. There is no crime in having fears but it becomes a concern if you are not ready to be helped to overcome it. Whatever the fear your partner will mention is a quick glance as to how you can understand the past, present and even picture the future of your relationship. Surely, asking this will set a lot in motion in your relationship, so don’t be scared of putting it on the table.
6. What happened to your last relationship?
This is where the questions get interesting to both parties. You need to know who ended the last relationship? Why it ended? How does your partner feel? All these and many more probing will surface from the initial question. Your partner might have had series of past relationships but be sure to have an idea of each and more details on the just ended relationship.
In the course of this questioning never feel or let your partner feel that these questions are borne out of insecurities of what you both currently have. But it should be established that it is just a perfect way to understand your partner better. The past relationship is a good prediction of what the future will unfold. In fact, this is crucially one of the questions to ask before dating a guy.
Of course, in the process of your partner answering your questions, there might be past hurts but the answers still need to be known. This question might take a while to be completely answered but make sure you keep at it till you get the full details of what happened in the past. There are a lot of things to look out for in response to this question. Make sure you pay attention to these details as they will help you talk about other matters like their sex experience and what love really means to them. Also, you will get ideas on how you can make your relationship different and better for your partner than the previous ones.
7. If you were lucky to win a lottery, what would be your first move?
This question might not sound so emotional as the previous questions, but it is a very necessary one. You are bound to find out a lot about your spouse response to money through this question. If your partner is a wise spender, through this dating getting to know you questions, you will have no doubt about it. If the case is otherwise, you will be able to know how best to handle it.
Although, your partner might not have it all luxurious at the moment but a deep dive into questions like this will show you responsibility. The truth is, the money doesn’t have to be on ground for you to see that if it does arrive, it will make a huge positive difference in your relationship. This question will also give room to ask further questions about your partner’s openness to income. If there is secrecy in this aspect, it will surely affect the trust on the other end.
Finally, be careful not to pose the above questions literally! Take stock of the situation, pose the question in relation to the ongoing conversation or activity. Take extra care not to sound too harsh or as though you are desperate. It is certainly not a hot seat where you just get to throw question but it sure is a very good way to learn more about your partner and be more intimate. Also, be sure to know answers to the questions you are asking, to avoid stuttering when your partner throws the same question back. It is possible to be at the asking end throughout but what is the fun in that? The aim is for both of you to know more and love more right? So, it should not be one-sided.
To make it more interesting, you could turn the questions into a game and film it for future purpose. This way, you get to laugh over bad memories and express your hurt with little or no pain whatsoever.